My best friend is beautiful, bubbly, and super outgoing. She constantly gets attention from guys and has tons of friends. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. But sometimes I get tired of living in her shadow. I'm a nice person, and I can get along with anybody, but I'm a bit more reserved than she is and compared to her, I often get overlooked. I'm tired of being known as her friend. I want to be known a myself. Any advice for me?
As a matter of fact we do!
There are many social complexities to understand when looking at how people work but once you understand them, it becomes so much clearer. You told us that she is outgoing and attractive, where you are more reserved and quiet. The thing that makes your friend stand out more to the people around you is the fact that she is outgoing. Think of it as whoever has the biggest megaphone wins. It’s the same thing when socializing.
So, here are some things you can do to make yourself more known.
- Be more outgoing - It helps draw more attention to you. Do things like: participate more in your friends conversations, if you have something to say then say it! Rather than just being a listener. Do you remember the singer(s) more or the back up dancers? Making yourself more vocal attracts more attention to yourself.
- Take Charge -Whenever your friends can’t decide on where to go or what to do, suggest something. Being the first one to the punch on conversations or questions of what to do/where to go. It makes you stand out more rather than the one that just goes with what everyone does.
- Bonding - Look at all the friendships you have one by one and work on them. Maybe as a group you aren’t that known but getting to know everyone individually will help them see what kind of person you are. Doing this will help strengthen your friendships with the person(s). Also, it might help you make more friends if they decide to have you meet their friends.
- Humor - We know this from experience, everyone likes someone who can make them laugh. Being the person who can crack a joke helps you seem more approachable thus leading to more people wanting to get to know you
- Practice - Honestly, this is the biggest part. Practicing how to be a social butterfly is the key. We can give you an endless supply of advice but if you’re not learning from it or practicing then it loses its value. Take what we said and try applying it to strangers. I know this might seem very awkward and you maybe too shy to but it’s the ultimate way to become more outgoing. All you have to do is try striking up a conversation with a stranger and keep it going. After a while you’ll gain self-confidence and become less reserved.
These tips should help you draw more attention to yourself and take you out of your friend’s shadow. Some may seem drastic so you can go at your own pace. As long as you’re comfortable and stay true to yourself. We hope this helps and wish you all the best! If you ever need more advice, you know where to find us.
Dave & Jess